– Simple Rants From An Italian Girl –
“Take your elbows off the table”, my grandmother would say to me when I was ….. a couple of years ago. It’s a simple table manner we should all follow and since I’m young enough to know, I really should play by the table manner rules. I have a habit of resting my hands in my face as if to pose for a grade 2 picture. (If I had that picture I would insert it here) Nowadays when I find myself falling into grade 2 poses, I place my hands in my lap and fold them like a proper Italian gal should. I think I got away with a lot because of this mischievous smile circa kindergarten.
Here are a few observations that I’ve noticed while working in the service industry (yes…us actors gotta do what we gotta do to put some buns on the table.)
Mind Your Manners
1. technological devices – Put your iPhones , laptops, and all things electronic off the table because if I spill some water on them…I will not take the blame. You try carrying a tray of drinks in one hand and a water jug in the other…something is likely to slip and if you don’t want me falling onto your lap then you may want to tuck your trinkets in your Gucci bags.
2. technological devices part due – If you are dining with a friend, partner, lover, mistress etc…. put your phone away! Seriously, there is nothing more entertaining than watching a couple on a “date” where one person is staring off into space thinking about last nights episode of MAD MEN, while their phone addicted friend, partner, lover, mistress etc… are probably tweeting about how boring their date is with you.
3. kleenex – Take your dirty kleenex with you. Seriously, unless its part of my tip. Then again, thank you very much for your booger infested tissue but I can really get my own. So take it, and take the few pennies that were at the bottom of your purse. I’m really ok. I may be an artist but I’m doing just fine without your pennies unless they are for good luck!
4. the Hand Wave – You wave at me, snap your finger at me or yell, “I’m ready to order” you can be sure that I will ignore you for a good 5 minutes. I will. Trust me. I will go to the back and just stand there watching you look around for another one of my associates to snap at. And if there is no clock (which there usually is) I will count sheep. By that time hopefully you will understand what happened.
5. closing Time– Trick question: If a restaurant closes at **10, 11 or even 12 would you come in and dine ten minutes to? I’ll just give you that answer, NO.
6. the Leg Sprawl – You may be used to sprawling your legs out in front of the couch, TV tray in lap and watching re-runs of Three’s Company but in a restaurant, at the table, mind your legs because I will trip over them. Ladies, please mind the purse straps. I am a clumsy individual, it’s part of my charm but I wouldn’t want to be part of the table fixture.
7. know What Restaurant You Are Dining In – Need I say more?
8. know What You Ordered. – Again, that’s a given.
9. say, “PLEASE” and “THANK YOU“. It takes less thank 2 seconds to say. And we all have these words in our vocabulary. They are outstanding words!
10. outside Food. When you bring cookies in from another store and you are displaying them on the table, please offer one to me. I love homemade chocolate chip anything. Its rude if you don’t.
Spring Is In The Air
Birds chirping. Wafts of ocean air. Coffee. late night laughter. Patio season. Cherry blossoms and spring time shoes. Mariachi.
Pastels. Flowy dresses. tulips. bright nail polish. HBO. Gelato. Tequila and lemon. Unruly Hair. Late night chats. Hellos.
Yoga. Music. ukulele. Paint splatters. Vacation. Rejuvenation. Vanilla oil. Acting out. Sweat. Bright lips. Magazines.
Beach time. Dress up. Hot nights. Vespa. Bicycle. Run. Walk on two feet. piano keys. Gelato. Dancing. Beets.
Strawberry. Flowers. Juice. Markets. People. Hula Hooping. Suntan. Rainbows. Sailboats. Crafts.
Sweet. Time. Everyday. Kiss.
These are a few of my favourite things.