a Geriatric MoMent .

   

I was waiting for da bus the other day when an older lady sat next to me. My weakness: old people. They smile, I get verklempt. They speak, I get verklempt, they sit in a restaurant alone, I can’t handle it. It’s just my thing. I imagine the worst: she just lost her husband, she can’t find her way back home, she’s not wearing her wedding ring…uh oh, I want to give her a hug and shout at the top of my lungs, “WILL SOMEONE HELP THIS LADY, SHE’S LOST”!!! Good thing I don’t.

The older lady chatted about the ugly condo in mid construction across the street. I complained how the bus was taking so **F&*KING long. She mentioned how different the city has changed, “the condos are blocking our beautiful scenery”, “London Drugs used to be my home” (not literally) but on the main street. I soon forgot about the bus and was far more interested in her tales.

Our dialogue went something like this;

ME: It will be interesting to see what the city will look like in 5 years.

LADY: (smiling) I don’t think I’ll be here.

ME: (what I wanted to say): “where are you going?”

LADY: (what I actually said): oh you’ll be here….you young whippersnapper”…you….

I trail off. She smiles and continues to strut her way onto the bus that finally arrives. As I stood behind her a few heads taller, foot still in my mouth, I couldn’t help but smile at her jovial demeanor.

She struck a chord in me when she said, “I don’t think I’ll be here”. I started fast forwarding to where I want or think I should be in 5 years. Questions swarmed in my head, “What if I’m not here?”, “Who will get all of my shoes?”, “I better hide my diaries!” and so on and so forth, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah, boom. I quickly shook off the nonsensical rumbles of chatter in my elaborate imagination. My nona lived to be 105, my grandfather is 89, I figure if I keep eating my greens and Nutella I’d like to hit 100. And if I end up in a retirement home, I’ll be the little old lady busting out costumes from her tickle trunk and putting on shows for the staff. Yup. That sounds great!!!! Or, convert the tuck shop into a kissing booth, $1.00 a kiss. Or 3 for $5.00. I would make millions for my grandchildren!!!!

So, after convincing myself that aging gracefully and with spunk is a fabulous option, I let out a breathe of air. I reminded myself to enjoy every moment, savour those conversations with loved ones, and learn from your elders. Maybe that afternoon I was the one with the geriatric moment and not my new friend.

A homage to women of all ages. I am a huge fan of Socialite Alice Apfel. She is amongst my all time favourite women. Her eccentric style and persona is what makes this 95 year old stand out. She’s been quoted as saying, ‘I’m a geriatric starlet. Her exuberant outfits and flying-saucer glasses have turned her into a style icon. BE YOU at any age. I have a feeling we’d get along just fine. – CS xx

** ridiculously

Another birthday . Another pair of boots.

 

I celebrated my 35th birthday this past week. Yup . I said it. 35. Halfway to 70. A woman. And I’m not ashamed to admit my age. Although I cringe at times. But I actually feel amazing. Especially when, this week the sales lady at a cosmetic counter where I was looking at serums, exfoliants and face peels (OH MY!) asked me, “Are you 19 yet?” BOOM! She got the biggest gold star I have ever given out to ANYONE!!! They may be invisible. But heck! THEY ARE GOLD!!!!  I will unabashedly admit that I am blessed with fantastic genetics. I’m not being cocky. I’m just saying it how it is. My grandfather is 89, he looks 70. My father is in his 60’s he looks 55 (dad I hope you are reading this “gloat”) I think by the time I’m 45, I’ll actually look 35. Some say at this age I’d be a cougar. But I beg to differ. A cheetah. Sounds a little less harsh. And cheetahs still got there spunk and energyyyyyyyyy! So I must be doing something right. And in the entertainment business where looks seem to be everything these days, I knock on wood every single day that I still look like a teenage boy on camera…giving me a few years. I’m not gonna give credit to drinking lots of water, instead I’ll give credit to laughing. ALOT. Smiling ALOT. Flirting ALOT And yes… crying ALOT. Keeps me feeling young, the tear ducts are healthy, and salt water quenches the skin (I made that part up) I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited this year. I started beating myself up on “where I feel I should be in life”, “What I haven’t accomplished as of yet”, “Why I’m still working these joe jobs”, but then foolishly shook that off. Never ask “Why” doe doe head. Instead I embraced all the fantastical things that I have accomplished thus far as a young chicken. And remind myself that certain things will give you the money to do what you want full time. And hopefully have creative control over them too. So, What is it about a “time line” that we so heavily rely on?? I’m leave that up to Facebook. This is a year of definite change. A lot of seeds are planted out there and a lot of amazing things are happening and unfolding. I may not see them yet but I am fully ready for when they bloom my way. Some I can’t talk about as of yet and others I will share when the time is right. But in the mean time I have graciously wrote down what I am proud of to remind myself of all the good that is here and that I am on the right track. The night before my birthday I bought myself some roses and popped open my iPhoto where I keep a section called, “THE GOOD OL DAYS”. Snap shots from photo albums at my parents home from the 70’s. Nostalgia sets in and I cried like a fool while laughing at the innocence of such a young little “peanut” as my dad called me as a baby. Weighing in at 3 lbs that nick name still holds. I had it good. And I still do. Lots of LOVE . FRIENDSHIPS . FAMILY . CREATIVITY . HEALTH. LIFE. and oh so much more! And sure, we always do want more. And sure, we beat ourselves up. But for what? We do what we can and the rest is up to wherever our adventures lead us. It’s amazing how the word YES and how our actions will take us on unknown adventures. I think that’s part of why I love being an actor, I never know what’s next and when it comes I tackle it from a place of play. Some challenging, some testing but overall they work out as planned. I’ve learned to keep my blinders on, ignore the ignorance of others, and continue to listen to the burning feeling that tells me to “keep on trucking”. Cause when I focus on myself and commend the good I do it makes me feel fantastic. Smiling at the days that past I was more excited to wake up the next morning and celebrate my life as a 35 year young woman. And that’s what I did. I woke up, got out of bed, stretched my arms and yelled, “FUCK YA ! I’M FUCKING 35!” …got on with my day..embraced all the well wishes, celebrated with close friends and bought myself another pair of boots. Hey! The one thing that makes me feel different every day are what I wear on my feel. And the fact that I’m starting to get bunions, well that opens a whole level in the shoe world. No, not orthotics (I can’t face that yet) But that face that I need good quality footwear. Most of the time quality equals quantity in my books. And whatever else makes me feel delicious, sexy, creative, flirty, cheeky, confident, passionate, excitable, fiery and endure the game of life! And yes, a gal needs to splurge once in a while. Even if one of those splurges aside from boots is skin care. Because soon (and by soon I mean another 25 years) I’ll be earning my spots. GRACIOUSLY – CS XX Already practicing in the mirror. My ability to not stay still started at a young age. My dad is wearing a very cool vintage button down. He probably still has it. I, on the other hand wish I owned that onesy. I look like a boy (to the left in pink) although you probably knew I was a girl (in the pink). A bottle of milk and my papa’s “Italian dog bones” always kept me happy. As you can see by my smile. My brother to the right (an actual boy). I look like a boy. My mom decided to keep my hair short. Thanks. They called me “Trouble” just like the game. Still looking like a boy (in red) Thanks. My brother to the left (an actual boy) But the beginning of my artistic adventures as a girl. Notice how I can paint and stare right into the camera. Talent. SR. Kindergarden. I look like a little girl. I love this picture. When I have a bad day I look at it and it reminds me of the cheeky monkey that I still am. Impeccable style too I may ad. The 35 year old woman that I was talking about. I still got it. Even with my tongue out. Cheers to a new year! And Play every chance you get! Cause that my friends….is what it’s all about.

10 Tips From A Bride That Was To Be (NUDE pictures enclosed)

Made you look! Fully clothed. I promise you.

Well, the rumours are true.  I got married this past year. Hitched up. Tied the knot. Hooked. No matter how you put it, I wore a beautiful dress with the most amazing shoes and celebrated with family, friends and  a candy bar that vanished within 5 minutes. What I learned from my year of planning and prepping and stressing Oh My! is that IT ALL COMES TOGETHER and if it doesn’t? It does. In more ways than one.   I learned a few tips along the way that helped me create a unique and fun day. Hopefully you’ll take a few pieces of advice when planning yours. You might  read this and think, “ah man she’s full of poo”. And that’s totally fair.  I am full of  poo some days but I had a FUN day and for me, that is success right there.

1. PUT DOWN THOSE CORNY BRIDAL MAGAZINES . Do not even touch one. Put down those scissors.  From the satin strappy heels, bedazzled dress to rhinestone body jewellery and bridal headgear, there is some really REALLY scary stuff out there when it comes to the vision of “the perfect bride”. Who wants to be perfect? I’ll admit, I glanced through one only to discover it took me less than a second to cringe. Out loud.  “EWWWWW”. Quickly dropping it to the floor in exchange for a copy of British Vogue I was stealth at hiding it very well behind the wrong magazine  rack.  The thought of pulling out my tiara from  my costume box accompanied with a diamond sash made me chuckle. Believe me I’d love nothing more to look  like a 6-year-old in a poofy taffeta dress in a character performance. But I opted out for this occasion. Stay true to what suits YOU. A lot of dress inspirations that I gathered were from favourite designer collections as well as Pinterest and fashion blogs.  Know what works for you and find  styles that you admire. It will cut out a lot of CRAP.  And you’d surprised as what you’ll find in a copy of the latest British Vogue. There is nothing worse than watching a bride not look anything like herself.

2. COLLABORATE . I was in LOVE and still am with designers Jenny Packham and Delphine Manivet. But my bank account wasn’t. I avoided all bridal boutiques to not further harm my addictive personality. Once I fall in love with something its hard for me not to have it. Nor could I  justify taking out a bank loan for a dress that I would afterwards pack up for storage. And by storage I mean my costume box. Let’s get real here, Fall is coming and my love for boots and future travel is a huge priority. It’s the perfect excuse to save the extra money. So I thought, Who do I know that would let me collaborate with them on MY dress? I want an original “Sicoli”.  None other than Vancouver Designer, the talented and awesome, Isabelle Dunlop. From the hand-picked french lace to the roughing and intricate detailing, she graciously allowed me to be hands on every step of the way over coffee and carrot muffins.  This was AWESOME. I reassured her that if I was annoying in any way to let her know, as I love to be hands on. Drawing the dress, sending images and talking it out was the way to go. We basically improvised our way in making my gown. Best part about it is no one else owns one, just little ol ‘ me which made me even more over the moon. I also had a blast collaborating on my wedding invitations with the talented art director and graphic designer, Natalie Pagnucco. I was lucky to have a pal who was gracious  enough to allow me to illustrate my image and general idea. She had creatively complied a list of fonts, colours and layouts for us to play with and together we were able to agree on what I believe to have been the perfect personalized invitation for David and I. Thanks ladies for allowing me to brainstorm and work closely with you and your talents.

3. CHOO’S YOUR CHOO’S WISELY . CHOOse a pair of heels that you will wear again. Because I went with a simpler, classy  and more elegant dress I decided to splurge on the shoes. Yes, I’m a shaddict and for my special day I decided to treat myself.  Saving on the dress and getting an AMAZING deal on these shoes I had no reason not to buy them.  I wasn’t expecting to go sparkly  but when I saw them I just knew. And when I tried them on sans Prince Charming I was convinced. Surprisingly enough I lasted in them all night. They were tres comfortable and best part, I can wear them to any event over and over again. With a different dress of course.

4. TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR YOU . It’s a big day. EVERYONE wants to pull you every which way. There are a lot of emotions going on and one important piece of advice given to me was to take a TSN TIME OUT. I wonder what he was thinking….”WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?????” I, on the other hand was trying to get to the candy bar.

5. DIY BRIDESMAID DRESSES .  Everyone has their own personality and their own sense of style. There is nothing worse than begrudgingly paying for a dress that you may NEVER wear again. Add on the fact that you may not even like it. So, in respect to all shapes and sizes and a love for a garden party flair and good material (of course) I asked everyone to think “vintage” “garden party” “soft colours” and “PLEASE no satin”. AMAZINGLY enough the dresses all complimented each other and everyone was happy with their selections. Despite my bombarding them with vision boards (sorry ladies) I think it worked cause they all looked gorgeous.  And the guys? Well..a handsome bunch I might say. We opted for the traditional rented tux that is worn by many over and over…and over again. They must have good dry-cleaning rates on them. Sharp, classy navy suits were chosen on their own and we tied them all together with pink and blue polka dots. Get it? Tie(d). I am goooood!

6. GET CRAFTY . I love craftersizing and I wanted to add as much personal touch to our day. Instead of buying a typical wedding book for guests I decided to pull out the Polaroids and put together a sketch book which would allow guests to draw, sign and write unique messages to us.  I don’t just want your signature, I want you to be creative too. Accents, details, quirky things that you love should be added to the day. And considering that I’m part nerd part goof and all class it seemed to fit the occasion.

7. FLOWER POWER & CAKE . Keep it simple and eat your cake. I only remember cutting the cake and then didn’t see it until the next morning.  So take the time to eat your cake! As for flowers, choose something that’s not only lovely but delicate enough for guests to take home conveniently. I chose a mixture of english roses and lavender to which I found  was just the right size. It wasn’t  overpowering by any means as some bouquets are. Sometimes I find a bridal bouquet to be an array of over the top lustre including weeds, flowers and bejewelled roses. Go simpler (and more cost-effective). Mason jars with lavender and hydrangea allowed guests to take them home instead of being thrown away  at the end of the night.  I still have bundles of lavender around my place…mixed in with the lavender I’ve been stealing from people’s properties late at night. Stealth.

8.  JUST SMILE & HAVE A DRINK .  YOU MAY NOT KNOW EVERYONE .  It’s true. Especially if you’re in the bridal party. How fun it was for the entire wedding party plus our parents  to greet ALL of guests in a small amount of time (at least I thought it was fun).  I wish I had a camera recording the line of awkward moments,  new faces, an array of characters, funny conversations, intimate moments and a few new impressions.  A tray of wine and of course water is just what the doctor ordered to keep us hydrated and  for the  line  to move along  in a speedy fashion. Of course things were delayed but it was great to see such excited faces. And WOW! All of the love in that room! My cheeks never hurt so much from smiling. If you ever need a cheek workout, smile for about 2 hours. You can also practice “greeting” beforehand. Here’s how.

9.  KNOW YOUR HAIR & MAKEUP .  For those who know me, my hair obsessions are out of control. I love hair. I love the way it changes a look. I love luscious locks on a man and a woman. I love hair.  Loose and luscious. I love hair. I knew I didn’t want a french roll or a loosely coiled ringlets at the sides of my head circa prom ’97.  I honestly didn’t know what to do with mine. Up or down? Down or up? Because my dress and jewelry were simple I wanted something a fuller and au natural with a bit of sassy class. So, I turned to a few hair inspirations and fortunately enough my hair stylist knew what she was doing. Since the wedding was out-of-town I was panicking as to who to call considering all the amazing hair & makeup professionals that I knew out here.  Realistically, I couldn’t pack them in my luggage. The overweight fees are ridiculous these days.! So, with the right suggestions and research I was happy with whom I chose. And I hope the bridal party was too.  As for makeup, I brought my own. You’re the only one who knows what works best on your skin. Trust yourself. Trust your makeup. Trust is truth. Makeup is pretty. I love hair.

10. HAVE FUN CAUSE IT’S OVER  JUST .  LIKE  . THAT. I started planning a year before the wedding. From designing the invites to making sure everything from the ceremony to the party was going to characterize us as a couple we wanted to make it as FUN as possible for everyone involved. It was the first time a lot people met, and there were a lot of moments where my emotions were flying (my family, friends and hubby can attest). But they love me just the way I am.  I thought if I could produce, create and perform a solo show I could plan a wedding (with help of course) . Sometimes it’s hard to let go and ask for help (at least for me. I like to be in control) but I’m learning slowly but surely to let go. Of course there were times where I yelled, “I don’t want to do get married anymore!!!” OR  sang, “I knew we should have eloped!!!” But it wouldn’t have been the same. Weather you sing it,  yell it, rap it, you are IN IT ALREADY. The most important lesson was to MAKE IT FUN and not to get caught up in the whole hoopla of what a wedding is supposed to be. It’s not a wedding unless its yours. Don’t listen to anything that doesn’t make you feel comfortable and stay true to what you want.  The amount of love, joy and beautiful moments can’t be described here. The most intimate moments are left in the heart and for my eyes only. But there’s nothing wrong in sharing in the FUN.  I hope this was as enjoyable for you as it was for me – CS XX

Who Cares What They Think.

Miss Moustache

I’m back! It’s been a few. And in that few I was busy planning a wedding, stressing out about the wedding, being in that wedding, putting pressure on myself to get things done work wise while in wedding land only to discover I just can’t do it all. Lesson: Focus on one thing and trust that it will all get done. Because it does. And even if it doesn’t somewhere along the line it works out in your best interest.  Finally two months back and I am sinking into routine. Again. Getting my groove on, listening to rap music when I clean and really just trying to get it all done. One day at a time. Life. I learned my lesson over the past months. It was no excuse to ignore my “voice”, although others would care to differ in the physical sense. But that is why I am back. Writing to you from my comfy bed curled up in my new Egyptian cotton sheets (yup I’m bragging) and comforter (bragging more). This just couldn’t wait until the morning. For some reason it feels like a new year. I’m not sure why, could be my hair is extra shiny tonight. So I will start again. And I will take it as that. This time, more than ever my blinders are on. Tight. Allowing me to  create, discover and conjure up new business adventures and ignore all those external forces that tend to latch on when they are so unnecessary. Its funny what your inner voice(s) will say to you. What certain people will say to  you. How their opinions of you must be heard. Quite frankly I am learning to shut them up and sport a sweet smile. Why would I listen to a 200 year old curmudgeon anyways? I’ll hear you but I’m not going to listen. Often times picking my battles are in my best interest but deep in my gut always better to say how it is especially when I know what’s best for moi (that’s french for “me”). I mean really, Who knows me better than me? Me. One day others will learn. And today I continue to. Separating those into tiny little compartments. Some days you may need them and other days their shelf life is a little longer. As I continue to make all the mistakes I can, it only makes me a stronger individual. Sometimes I believe that I am superhuman and other times…well who am I kidding, I am just a ball of moosh and tears. And the fire has been taken out of my cracker. But right now I know for sure I am for the most part a firecracker with weird idiosyncrasies that I can only embrace. I am stuck with me.  This caricature whom I like. Which brings me to the second part of this blog, my likings. The moustache. I like moustaches. I’ve said it before and I’m saying it NOW. I do. I always will. No matter how out of date that may seem. It’s sexy. And with a great head of hair even better. 70’s. I notice the moustache from afar. Up close. Often times head spinning in the direction of, the “stache”. But on more than one occasion as of late it makes me cringe. It’s lost its lustre. Sadly…oh so very sad. I’ll tell you why, because it has turned into a Miss moustache. Forgive me ladies if you are reading this and you have  a “Misstache”. In no way do I want to disrespect  or offend because you may like it.  It’s just my opinion. And we all have one. Weather we like it or not. In this case I vote NOT. I’ll admit it, I can’t give you my attention considering the only thing I see moving is the hair growth upon your upper lip. There are ways to take the “Miss” out of stache. Wax, thread and my all time favourite, Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Removal Duo. I’ll panic at the slightest beginnings of a blonde stache. Whiskers if you may. Even if it’s one tiny hair. Really, this is none of my business but I needed to get it off my chest. And believe me it’s not big. Signing off. Dreaming of unicorns and the 1970’s. This may be symbolic. Or it may not even make sense.  I go to sleeps. – CS XX

its that time of year again.

for Christmas crafts. You know it and I know it. As you get older you are given gifts that you simply don’t need (which means they end up stuffed underneath the bed, donated, rewrapped, or left on your neighbours doorstep with a note that says, “love santa”) Unless they are gift cards to your favourite shops (ask me for my ideas), monetary (to pay for those guitar, tap, ballet, art classes, even bills) or a generous donation in your name to your favourite charity. All in all, I really don’t need anything. Save your pennies and help someone who could enjoy a cup of tea, a bowl of soup or a long overdue phone call. As a young kid I would always give the gift of craft making. And as a young woman, well it looks like its gonna be that way this year too. Amy Sedaris put it best in her book, Simple Times: Crafts For Poor People. Yes I own this book. I bought it the minute it came out. I have a serious girl crush on this brilliant woman and somehow I can relate. Not because of my brilliance (or lack thereof) but because of her unique charm, bold characters and weirdness. I love her! So…if you feel compelled to make crafts this year take a peek at her book. Otherwise here are a few of  my top suggestion:

– mason jars filled with sand and shells (a Hawaiian adventure)

– decoupaged wine bottles with a candle of course (include matches. Go the extra step)

– sock puppets (everyone loves mismatched socks with buttons on them)

– reindeer families made from sticks. Use cranberries for oversized noses (This will get em every time!)

Q-tip men (perfect for the nativity scene)

Enjoy! Get creative! Happy shopping (independent/local of course)

CS XO

tranquil . suntory time

 

My first thought when I woke up this morning was, “I don’t want to get out of bed”. The sound of the rain was my alarm clock, the grey gloom is my cityscape until the first image I looked at on my compu pu was simple tranquility. Need I say more on this dreary Monday morning? Simple perfection, perfectly blue. I would like to be there. In a heartbeat I would. Soon I will.

“For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”

Bill Murray always puts a smile on my face (not everyone can) He is by far one of my all time favourite actor/comedians whose performances are always brilliantly executed. If you haven’t scene  Lost In Translation you should. Even if it’s for the hilarious scene of him as famous actor, Bob Harris struggling to make a “Suntory” whiskey commercial in Japan. It’s enough to win my heart. It’s enough to make me want to pour a glass of Suntory. On the beach. With Bill Murray. This is my perfect monday morning. CS XX

otaduy . whiskey

Confessions Of A Rockstar Wannabe.

Alright first of all,  I am no rock star (in the literal sense that is). I am not in a band (I pretend to be). I don’t live a life of sex, drugs, and rock and roll and I’m not traveling around the world checking into hotel to hotel (maybe one day).  I’m not  gracing world stages with my extraordinary voice (<— questionable. Some would cover their ears) and musical talents. But, my black leather boots make me feel tough. My leather motorcycle jacket makes me feel cool. My black stilettos make me feel sexy. And hey, my leather leggings well…that’s just a whole different story. So, I said to myself after seeing Canadian rock stars Emily Haines (Metric) and Martina Sorbara (Dragonette) that at some point in my career I’m gonna rock out so hard with my electric guitar, strut around in a leather onesy and maybe just maybe tap dance in between sets.  I confess, I do day-dream about this. Maybe I secretly want to be a rock star. Do I want to portray a rock star in a film? (hells yeah!) Do I want to rock out on stage? (double hells yeah!) Ok then let’s make it happen. #bucketlist

Worse Case Scenario: I got the privacy of my own home. – CS xx

Rock . Leather . Sexy . Motorcycle . Studs . Stiletto . Performance . Musica . Art . Instrumental . lazer beams . Feelin somethin

black & white and everything in between .

Well my lovely peeps, the chill is back and so is the rain. Often distracted by puddles and broken umbrellas, trying to keep my head clear is usually a challenge. Lets face it, my mind is pretty imaginative and most of the time I dream of tropical islands, skinny dipping, dancing everywhere, magical places, lavender bubble baths, artistic adventures and frolicking…… on the beach.  I like to wrap myself in my house coat, curl up in my cozy bed and convert it into my home office. Most things don’t seem clear. Usually they aren’t . But sometimes they are right in front of your eyes. No need to play peek a boo or hide behind those fears. You may want to play with what you have and splash around a bit. Tears may stream, emotions rise, you might just need some extra special lovin.  You miss certain people, yummy smells, change isn’t as easy as picking up a penny. They say chicken soup is good for the soul but so is leaping in the air and landing on your feet with a bit of a stumble. Putting your foot in your mouth is often a good thing. It makes you real. It  stirs the heart part. Messages are sent, wires are crossed. But if you’re smart enough to see the everything in between, the black and white is easier to be seen.  Let’s face it, sometimes the grey areas are all you need on a rainy day. CS xx

rainy kisses . romantic escapes . flying high . peek a boo . hibernate . lady thoughts .

Season Of Ch Ch Ch Ch Change .

I swear, it seems like every 5 years I feel a growth spurt. No, not in my boobs but in my heart.  Mentally. I feel the need for growth and change. I’ve been feeling it for a couple of months now. Maybe it’s a part of getting older. Possibly, the turn of the season. Each year I have a better sense of what I want. What I’d rather focus my time on. Who I want to spend hours with. Where I want to go. When I want to put my foot down. Why I need to let the things that weigh me down be set free. Sometimes I don’t know where to be. Most of the time I can never pin point what it is. I know it’s heart + mind + gut. Confused usually.  I’m never really sure .  Grown up pants. I like to choose my own adventure. trust it . I don’t know about you but Fall is the start of something new.

. mind montage .

crisp air . sun on my face . warm hugs . a big kiss . leaves a changing . new prospects . learn Italian (for the 3rd time) . heavy knits . boots and jeans . running in the wind . crimson lips  . new relationships . scary adventures . 8 months . do something new . kiss a crush . film . family chats . black and white . let it all go . enjoy the game . fall like a leaf . take my time . weird is cool . birthday  time . fly like a bird . chase something . sew a button . bangs . 60 seconds of fun . grandma sweaters . something special . quit something you don’t like . los angeles . new york city . i’m coming to play . piano . sing a song . stage . learn guitar . drive . 3 chords . yes . do it . head stand . kale . americano . cuddles . opera . black . pumpkins . vampire teeth . i miss u . hurdles . vanilla candles . paint . doodle . dare . plan . cheeky monkey . apple pie a la mode . crazy . song bird . clogs & socks . lucy . inspiration . tattoo . vogue . i’m just being me .

peek a boo . unexpected change . french inspired . girl crush . teepee for 2 . rachel comey obsessed . doodle heart