I celebrated my 35th birthday this past week. Yup . I said it. 35. Halfway to 70. A woman. And I’m not ashamed to admit my age. Although I cringe at times. But I actually feel amazing. Especially when, this week the sales lady at a cosmetic counter where I was looking at serums, exfoliants and face peels (OH MY!) asked me, “Are you 19 yet?” BOOM! She got the biggest gold star I have ever given out to ANYONE!!! They may be invisible. But heck! THEY ARE GOLD!!!! I will unabashedly admit that I am blessed with fantastic genetics. I’m not being cocky. I’m just saying it how it is. My grandfather is 89, he looks 70. My father is in his 60’s he looks 55 (dad I hope you are reading this “gloat”) I think by the time I’m 45, I’ll actually look 35. Some say at this age I’d be a cougar. But I beg to differ. A cheetah. Sounds a little less harsh. And cheetahs still got there spunk and energyyyyyyyyy! So I must be doing something right. And in the entertainment business where looks seem to be everything these days, I knock on wood every single day that I still look like a teenage boy on camera…giving me a few years. I’m not gonna give credit to drinking lots of water, instead I’ll give credit to laughing. ALOT. Smiling ALOT. Flirting ALOT And yes… crying ALOT. Keeps me feeling young, the tear ducts are healthy, and salt water quenches the skin (I made that part up) I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited this year. I started beating myself up on “where I feel I should be in life”, “What I haven’t accomplished as of yet”, “Why I’m still working these joe jobs”, but then foolishly shook that off. Never ask “Why” doe doe head. Instead I embraced all the fantastical things that I have accomplished thus far as a young chicken. And remind myself that certain things will give you the money to do what you want full time. And hopefully have creative control over them too. So, What is it about a “time line” that we so heavily rely on?? I’m leave that up to Facebook. This is a year of definite change. A lot of seeds are planted out there and a lot of amazing things are happening and unfolding. I may not see them yet but I am fully ready for when they bloom my way. Some I can’t talk about as of yet and others I will share when the time is right. But in the mean time I have graciously wrote down what I am proud of to remind myself of all the good that is here and that I am on the right track. The night before my birthday I bought myself some roses and popped open my iPhoto where I keep a section called, “THE GOOD OL DAYS”. Snap shots from photo albums at my parents home from the 70’s. Nostalgia sets in and I cried like a fool while laughing at the innocence of such a young little “peanut” as my dad called me as a baby. Weighing in at 3 lbs that nick name still holds. I had it good. And I still do. Lots of LOVE . FRIENDSHIPS . FAMILY . CREATIVITY . HEALTH. LIFE. and oh so much more! And sure, we always do want more. And sure, we beat ourselves up. But for what? We do what we can and the rest is up to wherever our adventures lead us. It’s amazing how the word YES and how our actions will take us on unknown adventures. I think that’s part of why I love being an actor, I never know what’s next and when it comes I tackle it from a place of play. Some challenging, some testing but overall they work out as planned. I’ve learned to keep my blinders on, ignore the ignorance of others, and continue to listen to the burning feeling that tells me to “keep on trucking”. Cause when I focus on myself and commend the good I do it makes me feel fantastic. Smiling at the days that past I was more excited to wake up the next morning and celebrate my life as a 35 year young woman. And that’s what I did. I woke up, got out of bed, stretched my arms and yelled, “FUCK YA ! I’M FUCKING 35!” …got on with my day..embraced all the well wishes, celebrated with close friends and bought myself another pair of boots. Hey! The one thing that makes me feel different every day are what I wear on my feel. And the fact that I’m starting to get bunions, well that opens a whole level in the shoe world. No, not orthotics (I can’t face that yet) But that face that I need good quality footwear. Most of the time quality equals quantity in my books. And whatever else makes me feel delicious, sexy, creative, flirty, cheeky, confident, passionate, excitable, fiery and endure the game of life! And yes, a gal needs to splurge once in a while. Even if one of those splurges aside from boots is skin care. Because soon (and by soon I mean another 25 years) I’ll be earning my spots. GRACIOUSLY – CS XX Already practicing in the mirror. My ability to not stay still started at a young age. My dad is wearing a very cool vintage button down. He probably still has it. I, on the other hand wish I owned that onesy. I look like a boy (to the left in pink) although you probably knew I was a girl (in the pink). A bottle of milk and my papa’s “Italian dog bones” always kept me happy. As you can see by my smile. My brother to the right (an actual boy). I look like a boy. My mom decided to keep my hair short. Thanks. They called me “Trouble” just like the game. Still looking like a boy (in red) Thanks. My brother to the left (an actual boy) But the beginning of my artistic adventures as a girl. Notice how I can paint and stare right into the camera. Talent. SR. Kindergarden. I look like a little girl. I love this picture. When I have a bad day I look at it and it reminds me of the cheeky monkey that I still am. Impeccable style too I may ad. The 35 year old woman that I was talking about. I still got it. Even with my tongue out. Cheers to a new year! And Play every chance you get! Cause that my friends….is what it’s all about.
I started dancing when I was 4 years old. Tap and Ballet were my first and then Jazz. My love for dancing has really enabled me to rock out on any dance floor or living room. Interpretive dances are a must – at a party, at a cottage, in the comfort of your own home (or others). My body does things. As a matter of fact, breaking into creative dance moves in a store, down an aisle, on a stage (especially with a banana) or in the street is my kinda my thing. Weather its dancing to “Saturday Night Fever” or Classical Music I let the music take me where no man has gone before. Er-
When I was 6 years old my ballet teacher, **Rita (** Rita wasn’t her real name) told my mother that I would never be a ballerina. To put it gently (as I later cried and still hold it with me till this day) I didn’t have the proper legs ala turn out. Wow. That was a smack in the face. Especially when you, the little girl with probably the biggest feet in the class had a dream. I absolutely adored ballet and was secretly jealous of those girls who moved so flawlessly on the stage and excelled in the advanced program. Desperately trying to prove her wrong I stuck it out until I was 16, just when I was about to go on point shoes. I absolutely loved point. But I knew that I wouldn’t advance further. You’re probably thinking, “Christina, No girlfriend! You should have stuck with it. Seriously, dreams do come true. You are the ballerina that could! You could have been a ballet star! YOU could have been Natalie Portman in The Black Swan”!!!!!!! Or something like that. But your gut knows best and your body knows it even more. I stopped out of insecurity. Why put myself through the torture of trying to be someone I wasn’t? You can’t fit a square in a circle. Or can you? Instead I’ll have you know I was Vice President of Student Council that year which occupied my time. You’re probably thinking, “Wow Christina you are a jack of all trades”. Yes my friends, I am. Skipping math class to “do council work” was a priority. And stepping out of science class to “take care of an important matter” (free Oh Henry Bars were coming in by the case for the Much Music dance party that night) I needed to be there for my peers. So instead I did what any responsible councilman would do, I decided to prioritize. I chose the only dance class I had time for and made time for. This was Tap. So that little girl who clung to the back row in ballet class, self-conscious of legs and feet, who always looked ahead to the “favoured” girls in the front row returned her point shoes. Another girl with a ballet dream would scoop them up. And plus I was really important that year in high school, so…. Alright. The truth: I knew my dream (and there are lots) to be a ballerina would not come true. I gave up. Something I do not like doing. Ever. Was it my big feet that I was self-conscious of? Maybe it was a turnout. My feet aren’t perfectly arched either. They are, as the boys would tease me in grade school, “flat as a board”. Well guess what boys! My feet grew faster than my boobs. So take that. You know what they say about a gal with big feet?
ME: I dunno.
I have size 8 flippers, sometimes they range to a 9.5 (insanity). For a 5’4 gals with a tiny frame that is just uncalled for! I constantly trip UP stairs, on the sidewalk and religiously stub my toes on furniture. My guy won’t touch my feet. As a matter of fact he cringes at them. Saying things like, “look at those”, “get them away from me” or even, “go get orthotics, we have coverage!!!”. I would say this is verbal abuse. I have feelings too you know. I think I may be a hobbit. Come to think of it, If Bilbo Baggins had a sister I would be she. I am a klutz. To say I have grace, well others would argue I walk like an elephant. That’s when I knew my instincts were right about sticking with tap. I never felt insecure about my foot size, nor my form. And there was a rhythm in my feet. It’s like they would come alive! Yeah, that’s right. I was fast. There was nothing more joyous than the banging sensation of my feet stomping to the ground. I tapped to the rhythm of the music and challenged myself within the beats. I love to tap. Not to mention, I was the strongest out of all three. Maybe my natural talent for stomping really did come in handy. It excited me in a way that gave me the freedom to move my body loosely while staying in control of my feet. I am like a bag of microwave popcorn ready to explode all over the microwave when I tap. I didn’t even have to wear a bun. Instead, I sported a headband. All this and I looked cool at the same time. Yes I always think I’m cool when I tap. Like when I played soccer as a kid we had to take pictures and I thought I was cool by pushing my tongue against my bottom lip (try it. You’ll feel cool). Don’t ask me why but I have proof in the pictures. I even had the honour of tapping with Gregory Hines in Theatre School. Yep! I’m gloating and I name dropped. You will have to just deal with it. Jazz on the other hand well, I am definitely a white girl. Watching me do Hip Hop will cheer anyone up when they are feeling blue. It’s a comedy show in itself. I still got my tappers and have come to terms with my 87-year-old looking feet. Correction – My 87-year-old grandfather has prettier feet than mine. I have no idea where these came from. I’ve also come to terms with the fact that this shy timid little ballerina girl (who secretly glides across the bedroom floor to “Swan Lake” in a Swan costume (I exaggerated the part of the costume) has her ballet slippers tucked underneath her bed. I may have a tiny bunion or two. And I may not be so graceful. But I got rhythm and I got music….Who could ask for anything more?
Ballet classes please? – CS xx
No one ever told me I could’t sport a tutu and heels.
I recently bought a copy of BUST magazine. It’s one of my fave’s. I was reading an interview with Joan Jett and one of the questions that was asked of her during the filming of “The Runaways“ (Which I have yet to see) was if she had advice for women today. She had this to say:
“You have no fear. Fear is the single most destructive emotion we have. Fear holds you back. Fear will stop you dead in your tracks. Have no fear, and go for it no matter what. Don’t let anyone stop you from your dream. Bottom line: Believe in yourself. There is nothing that you can’t do. It might take 35 years, but if you believe it in your heart, there is no way you can fail”. – Joan Jett
Thank you Joan Jett for your wise words. – Christina