FOOD FOR THOUGHT

a Geriatric MoMent .

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I was waiting for da bus the other day when an older lady sat next to me. My weakness: old people. They smile, I get verklempt. They speak, I get verklempt, they sit in a restaurant alone, I can’t handle it. It’s just my thing. I imagine the worst: she just lost her husband, she can’t find her way back home, she’s not wearing her wedding ring…uh oh, I want to give her a hug and shout at the top of my lungs, “WILL SOMEONE HELP THIS LADY, SHE’S LOST”!!! Good thing I don’t.

The older lady chatted about the ugly condo in mid construction across the street. I complained how the bus was taking so **F&*KING long. She mentioned how different the city has changed, “the condos are blocking our beautiful scenery”, “London Drugs used to be my home” (not literally) but on the main street. I soon forgot about the bus and was far more interested in her tales.

Our dialogue went something like this;

ME: It will be interesting to see what the city will look like in 5 years.

LADY: (smiling) I don’t think I’ll be here.

ME: (what I wanted to say): “where are you going?”

LADY: (what I actually said): oh you’ll be here….you young whippersnapper”…you….

I trail off. She smiles and continues to strut her way onto the bus that finally arrives. As I stood behind her a few heads taller, foot still in my mouth, I couldn’t help but smile at her jovial demeanor.

She struck a chord in me when she said, “I don’t think I’ll be here”. I started fast forwarding to where I want or think I should be in 5 years. Questions swarmed in my head, “What if I’m not here?”, “Who will get all of my shoes?”, “I better hide my diaries!” and so on and so forth, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah, boom. I quickly shook off the nonsensical rumbles of chatter in my elaborate imagination. My nona lived to be 105, my grandfather is 89, I figure if I keep eating my greens and Nutella I’d like to hit 100. And if I end up in a retirement home, I’ll be the little old lady busting out costumes from her tickle trunk and putting on shows for the staff. Yup. That sounds great!!!! Or, convert the tuck shop into a kissing booth, $1.00 a kiss. Or 3 for $5.00. I would make millions for my grandchildren!!!!

So, after convincing myself that aging gracefully and with spunk is a fabulous option, I let out a breathe of air. I reminded myself to enjoy every moment, savour those conversations with loved ones, and learn from your elders. Maybe that afternoon I was the one with the geriatric moment and not my new friend.

A homage to women of all ages. I am a huge fan of Socialite Alice Apfel. She is amongst my all time favourite women. Her eccentric style and persona is what makes this 95 year old stand out. She’s been quoted as saying, ‘I’m a geriatric starlet. Her exuberant outfits and flying-saucer glasses have turned her into a style icon. BE YOU at any age. I have a feeling we’d get along just fine. – CS xx

** ridiculously

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Another birthday . Another pair of boots.

 

I celebrated my 35th birthday this past week. Yup . I said it. 35. Halfway to 70. A woman. And I’m not ashamed to admit my age. Although I cringe at times. But I actually feel amazing. Especially when, this week the sales lady at a cosmetic counter where I was looking at serums, exfoliants and face peels (OH MY!) asked me, “Are you 19 yet?” BOOM! She got the biggest gold star I have ever given out to ANYONE!!! They may be invisible. But heck! THEY ARE GOLD!!!!  I will unabashedly admit that I am blessed with fantastic genetics. I’m not being cocky. I’m just saying it how it is. My grandfather is 89, he looks 70. My father is in his 60’s he looks 55 (dad I hope you are reading this “gloat”) I think by the time I’m 45, I’ll actually look 35. Some say at this age I’d be a cougar. But I beg to differ. A cheetah. Sounds a little less harsh. And cheetahs still got there spunk and energyyyyyyyyy! So I must be doing something right. And in the entertainment business where looks seem to be everything these days, I knock on wood every single day that I still look like a teenage boy on camera…giving me a few years. I’m not gonna give credit to drinking lots of water, instead I’ll give credit to laughing. ALOT. Smiling ALOT. Flirting ALOT And yes… crying ALOT. Keeps me feeling young, the tear ducts are healthy, and salt water quenches the skin (I made that part up) I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited this year. I started beating myself up on “where I feel I should be in life”, “What I haven’t accomplished as of yet”, “Why I’m still working these joe jobs”, but then foolishly shook that off. Never ask “Why” doe doe head. Instead I embraced all the fantastical things that I have accomplished thus far as a young chicken. And remind myself that certain things will give you the money to do what you want full time. And hopefully have creative control over them too. So, What is it about a “time line” that we so heavily rely on?? I’m leave that up to Facebook. This is a year of definite change. A lot of seeds are planted out there and a lot of amazing things are happening and unfolding. I may not see them yet but I am fully ready for when they bloom my way. Some I can’t talk about as of yet and others I will share when the time is right. But in the mean time I have graciously wrote down what I am proud of to remind myself of all the good that is here and that I am on the right track. The night before my birthday I bought myself some roses and popped open my iPhoto where I keep a section called, “THE GOOD OL DAYS”. Snap shots from photo albums at my parents home from the 70’s. Nostalgia sets in and I cried like a fool while laughing at the innocence of such a young little “peanut” as my dad called me as a baby. Weighing in at 3 lbs that nick name still holds. I had it good. And I still do. Lots of LOVE . FRIENDSHIPS . FAMILY . CREATIVITY . HEALTH. LIFE. and oh so much more! And sure, we always do want more. And sure, we beat ourselves up. But for what? We do what we can and the rest is up to wherever our adventures lead us. It’s amazing how the word YES and how our actions will take us on unknown adventures. I think that’s part of why I love being an actor, I never know what’s next and when it comes I tackle it from a place of play. Some challenging, some testing but overall they work out as planned. I’ve learned to keep my blinders on, ignore the ignorance of others, and continue to listen to the burning feeling that tells me to “keep on trucking”. Cause when I focus on myself and commend the good I do it makes me feel fantastic. Smiling at the days that past I was more excited to wake up the next morning and celebrate my life as a 35 year young woman. And that’s what I did. I woke up, got out of bed, stretched my arms and yelled, “FUCK YA ! I’M FUCKING 35!” …got on with my day..embraced all the well wishes, celebrated with close friends and bought myself another pair of boots. Hey! The one thing that makes me feel different every day are what I wear on my feel. And the fact that I’m starting to get bunions, well that opens a whole level in the shoe world. No, not orthotics (I can’t face that yet) But that face that I need good quality footwear. Most of the time quality equals quantity in my books. And whatever else makes me feel delicious, sexy, creative, flirty, cheeky, confident, passionate, excitable, fiery and endure the game of life! And yes, a gal needs to splurge once in a while. Even if one of those splurges aside from boots is skin care. Because soon (and by soon I mean another 25 years) I’ll be earning my spots. GRACIOUSLY – CS XX Image Already practicing in the mirror. Image My ability to not stay still started at a young age. My dad is wearing a very cool vintage button down. He probably still has it. I, on the other hand wish I owned that onesy. Image I look like a boy (to the left in pink) although you probably knew I was a girl (in the pink). A bottle of milk and my papa’s “Italian dog bones” always kept me happy. As you can see by my smile. My brother to the right (an actual boy). Image I look like a boy. My mom decided to keep my hair short. Thanks. They called me “Trouble” just like the game. Image Still looking like a boy (in red) Thanks. My brother to the left (an actual boy) But the beginning of my artistic adventures as a girl. Notice how I can paint and stare right into the camera. Talent. Image SR. Kindergarden. I look like a little girl. I love this picture. When I have a bad day I look at it and it reminds me of the cheeky monkey that I still am. Impeccable style too I may ad. Image The 35 year old woman that I was talking about. I still got it. Even with my tongue out. Cheers to a new year! And Play every chance you get! Cause that my friends….is what it’s all about. images

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BEAUTY

The Woo Ha Wax Off.

Follow Me

I’m not gonna beat around the bush (mind the pun).  So let’s get to it. VAGINA. The word some people may cringe at or avoid because it’s so personal. Why are you ashamed? This fantastic beautiful organ is your boom box, your lucky charm, your baby maker. Or you could call it the; woo ha, vagine, copher, cunt, pussy, twat, cooter, beaver, fish lips, taco, camel toe, muff, snatch, fuck hole, garage, oven, love button, penis glove, cock sock, cock pocket, JJ, hoohah, bajingo, cum dumpster, sperm bottle, goop chute, slit, trim, quim, pooter, love rug, poontang, poonanie, cooch, tunnel of love, vertical bacon sandwich, bearded clam, cookie, cooleyhopper, nookie, the pink, honey pot, cunny, vag, meat curtains, hatchet wound, putz, fur burger, box, front bottom, gash, kebab, kitty, minge, snapper, catfish, vertical smile, lovebox, love canal, nana, flower, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit,laps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, piss flaps, the fish flap, he furry cup, stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love, cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, sugar basin, sweet briar. And these are just a few.

Unwanted hair in all the wrong places. I tend to whisper to myself very few weeks, “For god sake, why can’t the hair on my head grow fast like the hair on the rest of my body?”  This is my que. This is hair removal time. Ladies, I’m assuming we can all agree that we started with the razor method. We’ve shaved our love glove and dealt with those evil ingrown hairs and cuts. Tiny bumps form. You sit down and become obsessed with removing the annoying ingrown hair. You squeeze it, thinking it’s tiny. To your surprise it’s long and thick (get your mind out of my gutter).  It slithers out of that bump, bulbous head protruding. As you pick it out you say aloud in your best theatre voice. “Got you! Ya little devil!!!!!!!”. C’mon have a little fun here. All the worlds a stage even if it’s in your washroom. Why is society fascinated with the ingrown hair? Or is it just me? It could be me. I’m fine with that. How about Nair? Yep. Been there done that. $8.99 a box. It’s perfect! BONUS: They even throw in a plastic applicator with aloe cream. Now, you can master the creaming application. You really got yourself a deal here.  Plus you earn the bonus points at your friendly neighbourhood Shoppers Drug Mart. You slather the cream on like a baker carefully applying whipped cream to a cupcake. Squatting in position to avoid your thighs rubbing, your slightly part your legs. This is your position for about 20 minutes. Little hairs start to detach (this is all because of a cream!!!! Makes ya think). It is pretty darn fascinating, I must admit. You make sure to lock the bathroom door and make up any excuse to why your partner, mistress, lover, roommate, parents?  can not use the washroom. “I’m taking a shower” I yell. They yell back with sarcasm seeping in their voice, “That’s a pretty long shower and I don’t hear the water”. You retort back, “You must be deaf!” Lucky enough you are close to the tap and can turn it on. Still in position, working your butt  muscles from the squat, you continue  reading the latest edition of ELLE magazine. Finally! – Time to wipe/wash the cream off.  The hair wipes off onto your washcloth and you are done. Please do not use this on your face. Oh, but wait!…… Nope you’re not done. There are still tiny hairs that are lingering and did not take.  Grrr, you growl like a dog. Begrudgingly, you apply more smelly cream to make sure you get in every little nook and cranny. Hopefully you don’t actually get it in your love part or butox. That would sting (trust me). Unfortunately before you know it, a couple of days go by and the hair starts to grow back. Yikes! It’s thicker and irritation has begun. You apply the cream (thank you BONUS) and then chuck it across the room because it doesn’t do a damn thing. It makes it in the waste paper basket. I, “hooray” aloud! Arms in the air, standing naked in the middle of the washroom, Success! Small victories people. I never made the basket ball team but I do got some skill. I’m known to be stealth.  

I turned a leaf over the past few years. I’ve tried soft wax (hurt like a mofo). Legs shaking, palms sweaty, I walked out halfway through my appointment. Then I discovered hard wax at my new favourite place, Frilly Lilly . It’s like a candy store for your vagina. Here is their waxing menu. 

Brazilian Wax – $58

Nothing’s left. That’s right. Nothing.

Hawaiian Wax – $58

Aloha! Bare’ly there.

Canadian Wax – $35

O Canada! Perfect for the Canadian bikini.

Alaskan Wax – $25

I walk in and my vagina is smiling. I admit, I still get anxious at the thought of it. But we always think the worst. “What if wax seeps inside?” , “What if the fire alarm goes off?”, “What if my vagina rips off?”, “Is she judging my vagina?”. “What if I fart?”. Judgements and fears  fly through your head like a hungry bird. Then you question, “Am I a bird?” Silly. Silly. No! I’m a peacock. After consistently going every 5 weeks you gain a relationship with your female “waxer”. You are delighted to see each other, “Wow I feel like I was just here!”, you even give your new friend a hug. I mean it’s not everyday you have life chats half-naked with a new friend. This Is Amazing! And once you’re lying on that table with your rocket exposed you realize you are in good hands. Literally. The rubber gloves are on and it’s time to get down to business. In the beginning I had the shaky leg and clammy hands but over time I started to feel more like a champ. I may wince, curse, and hold my breath, but I remind myself that I won’t have to deal with unwanted hair for about 4 weeks. Then I start dreaming of unicorns and rainbows and things start looking even brighter. As I picture a unicorn galloping through green pastures, my day-dream is slowly interrupted when she  asks me to,  “cannon ball” (hug your knees in for the rear wax) or lie down, one leg up in tree pose (for the tiny sensitive bits). Best part of it all. It’s over in 25 minutes and your vagina is ready to rock.  The pain slowly dissipates as time goes on. The more you do it and stay consistent with  your appointments, the more you get used to it. You may even learn to love it. Your vagina then thanks you for making her feel rejuvenated and pristine. If she talks there may be a problem but subliminally you know what she’s saying. And so will your partner.

A few tid bits of info on hard wax. HARD WAX is strip – less wax. Instead it is applied slightly thicker to the skin than soft wax, so become entangled in the hair for more effective removal. It then hardens and is peeled off. The wax is applied at a little hight temperature to allow the pores to open more and for hair to be removed more easily and less painfully.

Benefits of Hard Wax

  • Does not irritate the skin as other waxes do
  • Removes all hair of varying length and thickness (especially coarse hair) effectively.
  • Prevents & reduces ingrown hairs
  • More gentle on the skin
  • Skin is smoother after waxing
  • Hair grows back slower
  • Less painful ….and many more benefits!

So there you be. That’s enough muff talk for the night. – CS XX

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FASHIONISTA FINDS

Tis the season to be shop hopping.

Hello my lovelies! Ti’s the season to be shop hopping. What are your favourite stores to shop in? Strolling the streets of Vancouver and wandering into my favourite little boutiques is my weakness. I think Vancouver has some of the most amazing and unique shops to visit (and splurge in) I often shop locally and purchase from independent designers and vintage. This time of year is perfect for buying unique gifts for those you love. I always find something different and affordable cause really, at this age what do you buy for those who have everything they need? And for those who can buy their own items?…I’d say, Something small, something different, something they can use forever! Here are a few of my top favourite shops that sell unique and eclectic items by a variety of independent designers. Thank you for filling my retail therapy needs. – CS xx

 

1. ONE OF A FEW – 346 Water Street (Gastown)

2. Nouvelle Nouvelle209 Abbott St. 

3. Community Thrift and Vintage  – 41 West Cordova St. 

4.  The Fair  – 415 Abbott St. 

5. Oliver and Lilly’s – 1520 West 13th Ave

6. VIOLET BOUTIQUE – 1312 Granville St.

Fine Finds Boutique – 1014 Mainland St.

DREAM – 311 West Cordova

 

 

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